Columbus
Day is in honor of Christopher Kringle finding America. Chris was from
Spain and was looking for naked chicks and there wasn't that many cool
places, so he went in search of Mons Venus which was only known in Legend
as being "Far Away". So one day he went to the Queen of Spain and said,
"I need money to go in search of naked chicks" and the queen said, heres
4000 Yen. So Chris got together with his man Snoop Dogg and said, lets
go find Mons Venus. So they went to the boat store and bought a 4000 yen
boat. Then they went in search of Mons Venus. When others heard of this
search they came along. Because there was like more than two of them they
all named themselves different. They where called the Mayday, the Pinto
and the Santa Clara. So they sailed away into the sea. After being at sea
for 4 days they started getting mad that they had not found Mons Venus
when Christopher Columbus said, "Think about the children!". Then they
all said "Where sorry" and they continued there search. They searched under
the couch and in the oven and couldn't find Mons Venus.Then they got back
into there boats again but this time turned up the radio really loud and
came apon land. When they went apon the land there where tons of naked
chicks and TeePee's. Then a man approached them and said "HO!" while raising
his right arm. To Chris and Snoop Dogg this meant that he was a pimp. They
then asked where they could find Mons Venus but that damn wanta be a pimp
was really a foreigner and didn't speak English at all and was no help.
So then Snoop and Chris contained there search of Mons Venus inland till
they ended up at Chrysler Rock where there where a bunch of Vikings. They
asked the Vikings where they could find Mons Venus but they where to drunk
to answer any questions so Chris and Snoop Dogg killed both them all in
a drive by shooting. They then headed back south when they heard a voice
say, "If you build it they will come". So Chris and Snoop built Mons Venus
and then America sprouted up around it as people came from all around the
world to see the great Mons Venus.
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Christopher
Kringle
(1544-1985)
The
Wanta be Pimp
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